Cosatto: The Movie

Run VT

Lights Camera Action

Once upon a time, in a rainy land far away called Bolton, lived a boy called Andrew. His parents ran two successful nursery stores. Mums and Dads would wheelin their drenched kids in pushchairs. Poor sodden little mites they were. Andrew saw a gap in the market. Glancing briefly at the light bulb that had mysteriously materialised over his head, Andrew became inspired.

“No longer will those little mites be sodden”, he vowed.

Some say that fateful moment, he punched the air for emphasis. (It was the eighties after all). We shall never know.

Andrew hot-footed it to the PVC and sewing machine shop and availed himself of a roll of PVC and, seeing as he was there, a sewing machine. This young man, taught himself to sew. In the eighties a sewing man was as rare as an acceptable mullet. No small feat.

(Cue soundtrack: Beyonce - “What a man, what a man, what a man, what a mightymighty good man”. Overlay images of Andrew with sewing machine – pedal to the metal. He da man.)

After many complicated engineering thoughts he created a fitted-on framed raincover. He made thirty. A visiting rep took them all. They were so revolutionary he sold out in hours. The rest as they say, is Cosatto history.

(Out – takes: Pictures of those that didn’t make the cut: the fitted-on framed horse-cover, the fitted-on framed shoe-cover.)

Before:

Picture of one lonely pink sewing machine.

After:

Row upon row of gleaming industrial sewing machines like Mike Baldwin’s factory on an industrial scale; except not knickers.

Babies across the land cheered. The raincover became part of the national fabric. It is said to this day that if you listen close, you can hear a woop of joy in the air everytime it rains and those raincovers all go up in glorious unison.

Now a bold businessman, Andrew took calculated risks, made deals, did stuff in suits at desks.

Cut to Andrew, on phone looking serious: “I’m in a suit, at a desk godammit.”

All the time this was leading to the flourishing and lovely Cosatto you know and love today.

The company acquired different names: Silus Poker, A1 Plastic Extrusions (you read right), Supercover, and Zorbit. They were crazy times.

Cosatto is coming…

One day, Mr. Andrew met a man named Clifford Salter. Since 1975, Clifford had been importing beautiful wooden cots from an Italian company called er…what was it again? Cosatto. He asked Andrew to make raincovers for his pushchairs. Pausing briefly to puzzle at the drum roll that struck up around them, Andrew agreed. The planets started to align in readiness for a Cosatto catacylsm.

In 2003, Andrew took over the Cosatto reins from his good friend Clifford.

Cosatto made a journey oop’ north and under Andrew’s guidance, flowered into the cheeky chunk of quirky cuteness you know and love today.

Closing credits.

Cue closing theme: “You aint seen nothin’ yet.”

Since filming Andrew has received an honorary doctorate from the Bolton Institute.He is now Dr. Andrew but doesn’t shout about it. Some say he played air guitar when he received it. We shall never know.

Clifford is now relaxing in Ibiza.