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7 Classic One-Liners

7 classic one-liners you’d never think you’d hear.

A parenting site released a post the other week about a comment a mum had said to her son and it made me laugh out loud. With 3 little ones myself, I have heard my fair share of comments – whether from myself or my kids! Here’s a round-up of the classic one-liners I’ve heard over the years:

1 –

“Can you please get your willy off the dinner table”

I had never experienced naked dining until having boys, and never realised what exhibitionists they truly are. Nudity becomes a thing of the norm and it’s all about the willies.

2 –

At 6.30am: “Yes ok, you can eat the crisps when you have finished those chocolate buttons.”

Why are you so strong willed when you first become a parent? Then after years of stubborn toddlers you lose the fight and the will to live don’t you? When they start demanding snacks before 7am, you let them so that you can have a longer lie in and 10 more minutes of peace.

too much chocolate

3 –

“Please can you stop licking the floor!”

My youngest boy just seemed to want to lick everything and anything; floors, windows, doors….you name it!  On a positive note I think that the germs strengthened his immunity 🙂

children licking windows

4 –

“Please, please can you stop pulling grandma’s pants down.”

I do feel for my mum… She had 2 girls and 1 boy – my sister and I totally diluted the male testosterone in our household and my brother remained quite calm. Whereas my 2 boys rub off on each other and join forces. They knock my mum over when she is crouched down putting her shoes on. They go crazy and hang off my mum’s neck and swing from her jeans. I think they keep her young though.

And I couldn’t resist adding these in that the boys have said to me:

5 –

“Mummy, mummy, please please can we? We will even wash your toenails!”

Now that was an offer I couldn’t refuse!  They had wanted me to take them to the Zoo and thought a toe nail wash would entice me!

6 –

“Mummy your boobs look like cow’s udders”

Possibly the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me 🙂 I did laugh hysterically as it wasn’t even said in the privacy of our own home, but as loud as possible in the family changing rooms at swimming.

boobs look like cow udders

7 –

“Mummy, watch watch, can you guess if my willy is up or down?”

Oh dear, if only somebody had warned me that boys become obsessed with willies! I am presuming that this then stays with them until adulthood. You know you are destined for trouble when their party tricks start young.

cats looking up and down

This mother’s comment on the parenting site probably tops mine though… This mum had told her child “to get his willy out of the pizza!” I was in hysterics!

I hope the above comments have made you giggle! Make sure you write the one-liners down that you hear yourself and the kiddies saying. It is all gone in the blink of an eye and it’s so lovely to look back on the funny bits, between all the chaos.

Cosatto Mum Emma x

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